The day that I arrived home from Northwestern at the end of Spring quarter I felt immense relief — how good it is to be home with my family and no homework! But my relief was soon overtaken by all the symptoms of anxiety that I have grown used to over the years: restless nights, headaches, trouble focusing. I didn’t understand why my body was reacting in such a way, as I have traveled abroad before (and indeed by myself!). I ignored my body and my brain and fought against the idea that I might be anxious about my trip, but as the day of departure got closer, it became harder to ignore.
It wasn’t until I could no longer ignore the fears that I realized that that is okay. Just because I have traveled before, just because I have traveled alone, just because I have done all sorts of things does not negate the fact that moving to a different country for an extended period of time is inherently frightening. This understanding helped accept the anxiety and instead of focusing on why I was, or why I should not be, anxious, I could focus on the incredible experience that was waiting for me.
You are never too experienced, too old, too smart, too well-traveled, too well-prepared to get anxious about new experiences. Life is scary sometimes, but it is when we are able to cast aside that fear that we can really start living. This is exactly what Marnix Pauwels discusses in his TedTalk “No More Fear of Life,” a recommended watch for anyone who feels like maybe their fear is holding them back from their own life. I am going to conquer my fears in Berlin, and I hope that others can do the same in their own lives!