Britt Jordan, NU in Berlin, Summer 2014
It may not be as expensive as Paris or Barcelona, but Berlin sure knows how to hit your wallet hard when it comes to food and eating out. As a result, over the past five weeks, I have become very familiar with the local grocery stores and my kitchenette. I am not saying that my cooking skills have improved, but rather that my tolerance for eating absurd things has gone way up.[1] Here is a short guide to the various grocery stores that I have encountered over the course of my trip. All rankings and judgments are entirely, delightfully subjective:
1. Netto
Nettos are the places to go if you just quickly need a few, low-quality ingredients for a recipe. The prices are rock bottom and if you stretch out your arms horizontally, you can touch both sides of the store. All-in-all, Netto isn’t bad, but if you’re trying to make a name for yourself as a celebrity chef, you should probably look onward. (Ranking: 7.5/10)
2. Kaiser’s
Now this is a store I can get behind: good products, healthy selections, and relatively cheap prices in comparison to organic (bio) stores. You can find a Kaiser’s pretty much anywhere in Berlin, making it the most accessible choice for shopping. I will note that the commercial green dye on their lettuce did wash off when I went to prepare a salad, but, in the end, we’re all a little fake on the outside, aren’t we? (Ranking: smiley face + /winky face -)
3. Aldi
The only Aldi I have visited in Germany was in Munich, but they have them in Berlin (and the U.S.) as well. THEY ARE AMAZING. THE CHOCOLATE IS SO CHEAP.[2]Their variety is also incredible: all in one visit, I bought multivitamin juice, ham, floss, and I reloaded my cellphone plan. (Ranking: gold star)
4. LPG BioMarkt
I’ve only been here once because my bank account will not allow more trips. Situated in the rich and gorgeously gentrified neighborhood of Prenzlauer Berg, the BioMarkt feels like a Trader Joe’s but hits you like a Whole Foods. Major Highlight: it has a set of moving walkways that takes you between the first and second floors.[3](Ranking: very nice)
For the harsh realists, Netto proves just how good settling can feel.
Kaiser’s will give you what you want and let you keep your left arm, too.
It’s like Walmart, except it’s Aldi.
It’s pretty, but expensive: welcome to the LPG BioMarkt.
[1] Last night I mixed together four eggs, a bell pepper, chili pesto sauce, and Caesar dressing in an effort to use up ingredients. Some may say that this is not a “meal” or that this will “make me sick,” but I physically can’t hear the haters as a result of my poor nutrition.
[2] It should be illegal; I ate so much chocolate on that trip. I sometimes have post-traumatic flashbacks about the aftermath.
[3] O.K., so that probably sounds like an escalator to you, BUT IT IS NOT. It’s best described as the marvelous, little offspring of the moving walkway at the airport and an inclined plane.