Everyday in Guatemala there are not only real life erupting volcanoes, but volcanoes in my mind. There is so much unknown that I anticipate everyday that reveals itself through red lava that is sometimes incredible, sometimes frustrating, sometimes lonely, and sometimes insightful.
My first two weeks in Guatemala have been full of volcanic eruptions, and not just because I hiked an active volcano, Volcan de Pacaya.
View from the hike up Volcán de Pacaya
Lava on top of the active volcano, Volcán de Pacaya, in Antigua, Guatemala
I have been studying Spanish for 8 years and coming to Guatemala, I was nervous but confident in my abilities to communicate with my home-stay family and my potential in becoming fluent by the end of the summer. However, I soon came to realize that the language spoken in causal conversations is vastly different from my Spanish marketing presentations from the quarter before or memorizing verb conjugations solely for a test. My first week in Antigua, I found myself being unable to understand my host-family when they were talking about basic everyday activities. I discovered a gap in my language knowledge that puts a large barrier on my ability to form relationships with native Spanish speakers. Sure, I can write a critical essay about history or give a professional presentation, but not knowing the names of all the animals, foods, or common expressions has created many moments of confusion and a lack of connection between me and my potential companions.
Everyday my confidence in my Spanish-speaking ability decreases, and since this was my primary goal of studying abroad in Guatemala, it has been indescribably discouraging. Also, in Nebaj, the town I am staying in for the majority of the program, my host family normally speaks their first language, Ixil. This adds to the difficulty because I have no idea what they are saying unless they are specifically talking to me in Spanish.
While still not giving up on my goal of improving my Spanish, I am trying to create other tangible goals for myself to make the most of my time abroad. However, these goals are broad and hard to define in specific terms. My frustrations with language have been a massive eruption in my mind so far, but I hope that with time the lava cools down and I am able to push myself to breakthrough these challenges while creating other more tangible goals for my summer.