Study Abroad Student Blogs

Photo: me wearing  hanbok, traditional Korean clothing, for the first time in Bukchon Hanok Village.
Taken by my Ewha University Peace Buddy Chaehyeon.

Written By: Kiana Staples, WCAS ’22

As a first-generation low-income student who had never left the United States before, I was nervous to study abroad. I had received my Benjamin A. Gilman International Scholarship in 2020 and planned to go to South Korea that fall, but my plans were delayed due to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. I did not end up studying abroad until the Fall 2021 semester, when I finally studied at Ewha Womans University in Seoul, South Korea. My father, who excitedly told me stories about his time abroad, particularly in South Korea, as a young soldier, contributed to my unique interest in South Korea as a biracial, half-Black half-white kid. Though it had been decades since he had visited Seoul – a city which has rapidly changed and grown during that time – I was still hoping that asking my father about his past experiences would guide and comfort me as I was living abroad. Unfortunately, he passed away on March 25, 2020 and did not live to see me go to the country of which he had such vivid memories.

Between the passing of my father and the realization that I knew almost none of the Northwestern students who would be in Korea with me, my circumstances forced me to tackle many “firsts” in my adult life alone. I left the country for the first time and sat on a plane for 14 hours as someone who had never flown farther than Florida from my home in Pennsylvania. As a senior and Mellon Mays Undergraduate Fellow, I was completing an honors thesis, which was my largest independent research project yet, and I had ambitiously chosen to conduct interviews in Korean with female identifying tattoo artists from Seoul. Living in a one-room apartment in Sinchon, Seoul, and attending Ewha while most of my peers attended the well-known Yonsei University, I was completely by myself. Even after over a year, I can still recall the feelings of loneliness that would cause me to cry on small benches at night across from the subway station. My Instagram was filled with updates: pictures of me alone, or with animals, compared with the pictures my classmates often took with large groups of friends they had made before coming abroad. I sometimes felt as though nobody could understand the sadness that came with feeling so alone, especially on days I thought about my father. 

However, I was able to make a couple close, quality friends who I still contact today. And the more I went out by myself, the more other people told me they admired me. Many of my peers confessed they wished they had the courage to explore Korea but felt a small sense of shame being seen alone in the middle of the bustling, foreign city. They had wished they had visited that one cool tourist attraction, or tried that one food they were dying to try, but their inability to find a crowd of friends to accompany them had prevented them from enjoying Korea to the fullest. The more my friends confided in me, and the longer I spent learning how to navigate Seoul by myself, the less lonely I felt. Instead, I saw myself growing into an independent adult for the first time in my life – a young adult who had finally flown across the world, rented her first apartment, began an independent research project and honors thesis.

Photo: me posing with two
people dressed up for
Halloween at the
popular amusement
park Lotte World. (Deadpool on
the left and Spirited Away
character No Face on the right)
Also taken by my friend Chaehyeon.

Looking back, I would never want to change my study abroad experience, even if it meant being surrounded by more people. I loved riding a train to Busan alone, going to any cafe or restaurant I wanted whenever I wanted, limited by nobody’s schedule. I began asking strangers to take my picture so that I never missed precious moments. I found other friendly foreign students who, while not my close friends, would spend time with me on occasion and help me feel safe and supported. I found other students who felt just as lonely as I did and spent a wonderful 22nd birthday with them abroad. Fun by myself was no less valuable than the enjoyment of students who preferred to experience Korea with others.

One of my favorite Korean words to describe my time abroad, how I lived, and just how I am as a person, is an adverb: maeumdae-ro (마음대로). It roughly translates to however I please, or however I want. Maeumdae-ro hae (마음대로 해) is the act of doing what you want, how you want to do it. Being alone in Seoul and embracing the freedom of going and doing anything I wanted, however I pleased, 마음대로. That’s how I became secure in myself. That’s what let my independence blossom. I would never trade those lonely nights crying or moments of fear knowing now how much they allowed me to grow. Going to Seoul is the best experience I have had so far in my 23 years of life. 

I am currently applying for a scholarship to fully fund a two-year master’s program in Korean Studies in Seoul, South Korea again at Ewha Womans University. Hopefully, I will be able to enjoy life on my own, however I want,  as a graduate student in Fall 2023.

Me posing in front of Gamcheon Cultural Village, a tourist attraction in Busan, South Korea that features
hundreds of colorfully painted houses. Taken by a lovely classmate from Europe.