Skip to main content

Hosting and Being Hosted

Amy Glazier-Torgerson, Sciences Po Exchange, Fall 2013

I always knew that I wanted a home stay to be a key piece of my semester abroad, because in high school my family had amazing experiences hosting international students through a program with my high school. In total, we hosted three exchange students– from France, Colombia, and Germany– for periods ranging from 2 weeks to 4 months. In my junior year, I became very good friends with an international student from Turkey, and she spent considerable time at my house as if she were my family’s student as well. I eagerly signed up for a home stay during my time in Paris, not only because I had such wonderful experiences hosting, but also obviously because I considered it the best way to practice the language and become immersed in the local culture.

For this past semester, I have been placed with a family that is both very similar and very different to my own. I live in a town house in the 11th arrondissement (a very diverse area on the right bank) with a mom, her two children (a boy age 11 and a girl age 14), and the children’s cousin (a girl age 20) who is staying with them to attend art school in Paris. First with the similarities, both my family and their family have divorced parents. Once my host mom learned this, I think it made her more relaxed with me, since I understood the unique dynamic and the reason why the kids wouldn’t be present every night. Everyone in the family is also very active and busy with sports, music, studies of course, and additional activities. This leads right in to the differences between our families: when all the kids are home, the house is loud. In Seattle, I primarily live with my mom in an apartment that stays pretty quite most of the time, with only the two of us staying there. I have a very small family and it has taken a while for me to get used to the energy here when everyone is present. The first time the two siblings fought at the table, during my first couple of weeks here, I felt incredibly uncomfortable. I could understand the majority of the argument, but a few things were lost in translation, which made everything seem much more disorienting. They still fight. Frequently. But now I understand almost everything that is said, and can laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, knowing that it never relates to me. Identifying with the family on some levels has made me feel like I fit in better here, but as an exchange student rather than a host I now understand the feeling of being an outsider looking in, feeling like something doesn’t quite fit even when everyone tries to make you feel comfortable. That feeling does not necessarily reflect on the family match: there is something uniquely odd about living in another person’s home as their child, but not really.

I would often wonder with our exchange students in high school why they would sometimes get very quiet, as if withdrawing into themselves. In response I would often reach out more to get a reaction from them. Now, being on the other end, I do this often just so that I can listen and absorb my surroundings.

I don’t know what staying in touch looks like after I leave my host family very soon. International friendships often take on a different, more limited, appearance than domestic ones. I prefer to say goodbye without really saying goodbye. Next year, the older girl, the 14-year-old, will be spending 6 months in Canada to practice her English. With hopes of reuniting then, when I leave I will say “see you later” instead of “goodbye!”

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *