my twin pregnancy journal- breastfeeding fears

33 weeks

I picked up my medela freestyle breastpump earlier this week. After reading the instructions and going through all the stuff in the box, i stuffed everything nicely back into the box. I haven’t even charged the batteries yet. I’m not sure when i’ll use it, maybe not the first few weeks maybe? I’m not sure.

I woke up this morning at 4am for my usual pee break and to turn, which i do periodically every 2 hours these days. And as i sat on my bed, my head flopped forward half awake, waiting for my muscles to warm up a little before getting up to go to the loo, i thought, ‘This would be how it would be like waking up for late feeds i suppose’.

Then i started panicking about the logistics about how i will be able to concurrently feed Upin and Ipin. I started fretting- what if i drop them, what if 1 or worse, both, roll off the bed. Would I have to get hubby to help me, wouldn’t he be too tired for work the next day if he doesn’t get proper rest. It went on and on and on…till i found myself wide awake at 4am.

I couldn’t go back to sleep. Ended up making myself toast and an omelette and having a super early breakfast. Ah well, i suppose i’ll figure it out…

Yikes!

my twin pregnancy journal- update on upin and ipin

33 weeks


Check up last Saturday went very well. Upin and Ipin are about 2.2 kilos each, which is a good weight. In fact, my baby centre update for 33 weeks for a single baby went something like- ‘ Your baby is about 2 kilos by now’…lol… mine are 0.2 kilos heavier than an average singleton baby at 33 weeks!

In fact, i still have a good supply of amniotic fluid in each bag, which doctor says means that the babies still have plenty of space to grow bigger. YIKES!

The extremely good news i heard was that at 33 weeks, Upin and Ipin have about a 100% chance of survival if they are delivered now. They may need just special care, and doc assured me that the chances of taking them home almost immediately is very good!

Here’s a happy mommy…counting down to seeing my 2 little babies…

my twin pregnancy journal- update on upin and ipin

33 weeks


Check up last Saturday went very well. Upin and Ipin are about 2.2 kilos each, which is a good weight. In fact, my baby centre update for 33 weeks for a single baby went something like- ‘ Your baby is about 2 kilos by now’…lol… mine are 0.2 kilos heavier than an average singleton baby at 33 weeks!

In fact, i still have a good supply of amniotic fluid in each bag, which doctor says means that the babies still have plenty of space to grow bigger. YIKES!

The extremely good news i heard was that at 33 weeks, Upin and Ipin have about a 100% chance of survival if they are delivered now. They may need just special care, and doc assured me that the chances of taking them home almost immediately is very good!

Here’s a happy mommy…counting down to seeing my 2 little babies…

my twin pregnancy journal- a’wristed’ development!

32 weeks

As if nothing else could go wrong! I’ve had what i thought was just a strained wrist for some time now. But a chance meeting with an aunt who used to be a physiotherapist warned that my symptoms weren’t a simple wrist twist, but something to do with my ligaments. She also told me that if it WAS what she suspected, I’d need steroid injections or if it got worse…surgery!

So, having avoided a visit to the doctor about it for quite awhile. I reluctantly went, and as I feared, it was ligament damage. And as I had also suspected, there’s nothing that can be done for me now to help with the pain because of my pregnancy. No oral medication, and I can’t do steroid injections. Now, I had expected all this news, and so wasn’t quite bummed…

Until…

My mom, who was with me at the doctor, asked if my new found hobby of crocheting had been a factor in my hurting my wrist. Although i yelped out frantically that the pain had begun before i started crocheting, my doctor sternly said, ‘No more’. He warned that if I continued with the constant repetitive action with my wrist, the damage could worsen, and I may find even carrying a baby’s bottle really difficult.

So, a wasted trip to the yarn shop the day before. Bundles of yarn that cannot fulfill its destiny to be elephants and monkeys for the twins and for nephew Mik.

*SOB*

my twin pregnancy journal- a’wristed’ development!

32 weeks

As if nothing else could go wrong! I’ve had what i thought was just a strained wrist for some time now. But a chance meeting with an aunt who used to be a physiotherapist warned that my symptoms weren’t a simple wrist twist, but something to do with my ligaments. She also told me that if it WAS what she suspected, I’d need steroid injections or if it got worse…surgery!

So, having avoided a visit to the doctor about it for quite awhile. I reluctantly went, and as I feared, it was ligament damage. And as I had also suspected, there’s nothing that can be done for me now to help with the pain because of my pregnancy. No oral medication, and I can’t do steroid injections. Now, I had expected all this news, and so wasn’t quite bummed…

Until…

My mom, who was with me at the doctor, asked if my new found hobby of crocheting had been a factor in my hurting my wrist. Although i yelped out frantically that the pain had begun before i started crocheting, my doctor sternly said, ‘No more’. He warned that if I continued with the constant repetitive action with my wrist, the damage could worsen, and I may find even carrying a baby’s bottle really difficult.

So, a wasted trip to the yarn shop the day before. Bundles of yarn that cannot fulfill its destiny to be elephants and monkeys for the twins and for nephew Mik.

*SOB*

my twin pregnancy journal- going out is just hard to do

week 31


Moi was really excited that I had a hospital appointment today at KKH to see my counsellor (read: psychiatrist). I was really looking forward to doing some shopping at the hospital for last minute baby stuff and then heading out to town for awhile to get a book at Kinokuniya at Taka. I was also hoping to head to Ang Mo Kio central to get more yarn to finish the 2 other elephants i’m crocheting for my twins.

What i’ve learnt is that- it is almost impossible now to gallavant. Just a month ago, I could take the shuttle from the hospital to the nearby MRT station, and walk around Orchard AND take the MRT home.

But not anymore.

Just the 500m walk down the corridor from the hospital clinic to the nearby mothercare outlet left me wheezing. Even with a cab-ride to Taka, I still had to sit down for a break, just walking through Kinokuniya! In fact, throughout my half-hour trip in Kinokuniya, I sat down for a total of 3 times for about a total of 15 minutes. Thank goodness I knew what i wanted to find and the sales assistants were very helpful. PLUS Kino isn’t as crowded as Borders, and there were many benches that I could park my lardbutt on for a break.

The rest of the trip was a physical strain. I needed to get something from Taka itself and did it as quickly as i could. I also needed to make a trip to the pharmacy, and by the end of it I was breathless and feeling giddy. I parked myself on a bench, next to the loo, for ten minutes just trying to catch my breath. Luckily for me I had a bottle of water to help me keep hydrated and cool.

The queue for the taxi was equally strenuous. There were no seats, and I was just praying that someone would let me just jump ahead of the queue. People stared at me, with looks of disbelief that I was probably out and about, seeing how huge I was, but noone offered to let me jump ahead of the queue! It wasn’t as if there were no taxis available, it was just that the turning out of Taka is quite busy, and the taxi movement was slower than it could be.

The taxi ride back was terrible. I was giddy, and I spent ten minutes upon reaching home, with my head in a plastic bag, puking out what little I had for breakfast. I spent the rest of the afternoon being giddy and tired. And dissappointed I didn’t even manage to make my yarn stop!

That’s it. No more outings I think. At least without hubby, who can help fuss over me. Definitely shouldn’t be gallavanting on my own anymore.

=(

my twin pregnancy journal- going out is just hard to do

week 31


Moi was really excited that I had a hospital appointment today at KKH to see my counsellor (read: psychiatrist). I was really looking forward to doing some shopping at the hospital for last minute baby stuff and then heading out to town for awhile to get a book at Kinokuniya at Taka. I was also hoping to head to Ang Mo Kio central to get more yarn to finish the 2 other elephants i’m crocheting for my twins.

What i’ve learnt is that- it is almost impossible now to gallavant. Just a month ago, I could take the shuttle from the hospital to the nearby MRT station, and walk around Orchard AND take the MRT home.

But not anymore.

Just the 500m walk down the corridor from the hospital clinic to the nearby mothercare outlet left me wheezing. Even with a cab-ride to Taka, I still had to sit down for a break, just walking through Kinokuniya! In fact, throughout my half-hour trip in Kinokuniya, I sat down for a total of 3 times for about a total of 15 minutes. Thank goodness I knew what i wanted to find and the sales assistants were very helpful. PLUS Kino isn’t as crowded as Borders, and there were many benches that I could park my lardbutt on for a break.

The rest of the trip was a physical strain. I needed to get something from Taka itself and did it as quickly as i could. I also needed to make a trip to the pharmacy, and by the end of it I was breathless and feeling giddy. I parked myself on a bench, next to the loo, for ten minutes just trying to catch my breath. Luckily for me I had a bottle of water to help me keep hydrated and cool.

The queue for the taxi was equally strenuous. There were no seats, and I was just praying that someone would let me just jump ahead of the queue. People stared at me, with looks of disbelief that I was probably out and about, seeing how huge I was, but noone offered to let me jump ahead of the queue! It wasn’t as if there were no taxis available, it was just that the turning out of Taka is quite busy, and the taxi movement was slower than it could be.

The taxi ride back was terrible. I was giddy, and I spent ten minutes upon reaching home, with my head in a plastic bag, puking out what little I had for breakfast. I spent the rest of the afternoon being giddy and tired. And dissappointed I didn’t even manage to make my yarn stop!

That’s it. No more outings I think. At least without hubby, who can help fuss over me. Definitely shouldn’t be gallavanting on my own anymore.

=(

my twin pregnancy journal- antenatal blues

week 31


The truth is, I’ve been suffering from ante-natal blues. I’m not depressed, but i’ve felt down enough to shed a couple of tears.

It started during my first trimester. Then it was about the horrible morning sickness, which left me feeling not quite myself. I was also bummed that I was not at work, and not my usual productive self, and would have episodes where i would breakdown crying in the shower. I remember just feeling so shitty and not myself, and feeling like this was all too much for me.

One episode saw me bawling my eyes out at my OBGYN’s office, simply reacting to his question, “How are you, Eveel?” It didn’t surprise me that I was referred to see a counsellor (read: psychiatrist) at KKH. Of course my OBGYN made it very clear that it was all the hormones and it would be helpful to have someone to talk to.

My first session went terribly. I cried for the whole 1hr session. I remember crying that I was afraid that I would lose the pregnancy fearing that the first miscarriage episode would repeat itself, I remember crying that I didn’t feel happy, that I didn’t feel I knew who I was, etc. The counsellor was very nice, telling me that what I was going through was just an ‘adjustment’ problem with the pregnancy, possibly brought upon by the extra load of hormones that a twin pregnancy brought along.

After the 1st trimester blues were over, I felt better. So i didn’t have many sessions with the counsellor during my 2nd trimester, the counsellor did decide to see me during my 3rd trimester, just to check that my mood hadn’t gotten worse then, especially when I was expected to get big, uncomfortable and probably cranky from lack of sleep.

True to what was expected, I was back to my crying state again, scaring my husband shitless. The worst episode, was one morning on the way to work. I just couldn’t bring myself to go into the office. I stopped for brekkie at McDonald’s at Rider’s Park (at Queenstown). And when i got back into the car and started it, I just started bawling. Cried and cried and cried. It felt like the whole world was collapsing around me. Called my husband, who told me to go straight back home!

Then the crying and the weeping started again. It was largely the hormones, AGAIN!

And the culprit was these hormone pills , at quite large doses too, that my doctor made me take to keep the twins safe and happy. It was also administered during my first trimester too, and we suspected that it was the cause of all my unhappiness.

The counsellor wrote to my doctor, asking him if it was ok to reduce the dosage of that particular pill, or remove it completely. He did, and instead upped the dosage of another medication that I was suffering no adverse effects from and almost instantaneously…*tadah* i was back to my regular self.

I’ve been shy to talk about this really. It’s like a failing of some sort. You know, you’re suppose to be happy and pregnant, enjoy being pregnant, be rosy and glowy. But i was the total opposite of it.

I am starting to open up about it, and i think people should know that pregnancy is hard. Even without extra hormone pills, your hormones ARE everywhere, and preggie people do get weepy and emotional just because. And it is such a physically challenging phase too. And it’s ok. I mean great if you have a rosy and happy pregnancy, but it’s ok if you suffer the blues too!

my twin pregnancy journal- antenatal blues

week 31


The truth is, I’ve been suffering from ante-natal blues. I’m not depressed, but i’ve felt down enough to shed a couple of tears.

It started during my first trimester. Then it was about the horrible morning sickness, which left me feeling not quite myself. I was also bummed that I was not at work, and not my usual productive self, and would have episodes where i would breakdown crying in the shower. I remember just feeling so shitty and not myself, and feeling like this was all too much for me.

One episode saw me bawling my eyes out at my OBGYN’s office, simply reacting to his question, “How are you, Eveel?” It didn’t surprise me that I was referred to see a counsellor (read: psychiatrist) at KKH. Of course my OBGYN made it very clear that it was all the hormones and it would be helpful to have someone to talk to.

My first session went terribly. I cried for the whole 1hr session. I remember crying that I was afraid that I would lose the pregnancy fearing that the first miscarriage episode would repeat itself, I remember crying that I didn’t feel happy, that I didn’t feel I knew who I was, etc. The counsellor was very nice, telling me that what I was going through was just an ‘adjustment’ problem with the pregnancy, possibly brought upon by the extra load of hormones that a twin pregnancy brought along.

After the 1st trimester blues were over, I felt better. So i didn’t have many sessions with the counsellor during my 2nd trimester, the counsellor did decide to see me during my 3rd trimester, just to check that my mood hadn’t gotten worse then, especially when I was expected to get big, uncomfortable and probably cranky from lack of sleep.

True to what was expected, I was back to my crying state again, scaring my husband shitless. The worst episode, was one morning on the way to work. I just couldn’t bring myself to go into the office. I stopped for brekkie at McDonald’s at Rider’s Park (at Queenstown). And when i got back into the car and started it, I just started bawling. Cried and cried and cried. It felt like the whole world was collapsing around me. Called my husband, who told me to go straight back home!

Then the crying and the weeping started again. It was largely the hormones, AGAIN!

And the culprit was these hormone pills , at quite large doses too, that my doctor made me take to keep the twins safe and happy. It was also administered during my first trimester too, and we suspected that it was the cause of all my unhappiness.

The counsellor wrote to my doctor, asking him if it was ok to reduce the dosage of that particular pill, or remove it completely. He did, and instead upped the dosage of another medication that I was suffering no adverse effects from and almost instantaneously…*tadah* i was back to my regular self.

I’ve been shy to talk about this really. It’s like a failing of some sort. You know, you’re suppose to be happy and pregnant, enjoy being pregnant, be rosy and glowy. But i was the total opposite of it.

I am starting to open up about it, and i think people should know that pregnancy is hard. Even without extra hormone pills, your hormones ARE everywhere, and preggie people do get weepy and emotional just because. And it is such a physically challenging phase too. And it’s ok. I mean great if you have a rosy and happy pregnancy, but it’s ok if you suffer the blues too!

my twin pregnancy journal- the stretchmarks are here!

31 weeks


Hurrah! The stretchmarks are here!

In case you’re a dense idiot…i’m being sarcastic!

All the bio-oil and cocoa butter i’ve been lathering on myself have not been able to save me from the dreaded stretchmarks.

To be fair, it was a losing battle to begin with. There was no way, with 2 huge babies resting and growing very very well in my belly, was my skin going to stretch gracefully without breaking into stretchmarks.

I try and remind myself of what a friend’s hubby called her stretchmarks, he called them lovemarks. Reminders of how much love and joy she brought into the world.

Sweet…though i’d prefer no stretchmarks still! =)