It’s ok, it’s alright!

It’s ok, It’s alright.
Man U Man U fight, fight, fight!
(This post does not indicate that Eveeleva’s loyalty to Liverpool has wavered. In fact, she was secretly happy that Barcelona won! But out of respect to Mr Eveel’s unwavering loyalty to Man U, Ipin has agreed to cheer on Man U and his daddy today. *grin*)

time for a makeover- the FLYNN perhaps?

While I was pregnant, I thought I did a smart thing of cleaning out my wardrobe. I expected that I would put on quite a number of pounds, and would probably need considerable amount of time to shed the pregnancy pounds.

I had no delusional ideas that like hollywood stars or local celebrities like Wong Li Lin, who ran a marathon or was it a biathlon a few months after pregnancy, that i’d be hitting the gym as soon as I ended my confinement and returning to my size 6 figure (LOL..size 6, year right!).

True enough, the twins are keeping me from any outside activity, hence no gym time. Even taking brisk walks in the morning have been almost impossible, as they haven’t quite settled into a routine quite yet. However, I have lost all my pregnancy weight, and better still am lighter than pre-pregnancy.

OK lah…yes you’re right I HAD put on some weight even before I got pregnant, so I’m not super skinny but thinner lah…thin enough to fit into stuff which were too tight before I got pregnant.

So the wardrobe cleaning up has now worked against me. I now have nothing to wear because I’ve thrown away a lot of stuff I thought wouldn’t fit me. And I haven’t had time (read: lazy) to dig out the stuff that I did pack away.

PLUS I think I need a new look. A lot of my clothes were very bohemian-ish, lots of colour, variety etc. No no…the word is eclectic. It took me a lot of time to put outfits together because things didn’t easily match, because pieces of clothing seemed like they were from different genres. It was fun then, to dress executive one day, bohemian another, Minah another day and cutesy-cutesy another day. Now i don’t have the time nor the luxury to mix and match, and to follow my weird style moods.

I’m thinking of ditching colour and shopping in monochrome. Like blacks, whites, greys and yah, that’s it. And maybe just do plain t-shirts, and shirts. Basic pants, jeans and capris and that’s it. The aim would be, if I reached out into the wardrobe and blindly picked up a top and a bottom, it would match. I call this ‘THE FLYNN’, after a dear friend and colleague whose dress style is based on this philosophy.

But aiyar so boring right (although Flynn is not boring at all, I Love you Tau Kwa)? Especially when this season is all about bright blocks of colour. Groan…

What do you guys think?

mommy is a panda?

Kungfu panda 2 is coming out soon.

Reminds me of the time I dressed up as kungfu panda for a work thing.

I wonder what the twins, when they are older, will think when seeing pics of their mom dressed up as panda?

I hope they’ll love me even more for it!

(oh i also have dressed up as supergirl and starfish amongst other things…sigh)

the truth of the matter is…

The truth of the matter is…i AM overwhelmed by this motherhood experience. I find it really very very difficult and challenging.  And sometimes no…often…very often,,,many many times during the day, I wonder if god was thinking straight when he decided to bless me with twins.

Oh I have so many complaints about being a mother….there is surely no need to list them all but it includes being exhausted, sleep deprived, not having time to myself.

It really is tough for me to decide to go off for time alone, as it means my mum and the helper would have extra work on their hands. I do occasionally go out with 1 bub, leaving my mom with the other, but it really isn’t the time off I desperately need. Sometimes I walk by shops and wish i could try on some cute outfits, but what would I do with the bub in the sling? Or even if he was in a pram? Would he cry while I was changing? Too much stress really. So i find myself mostly at home. Yesterday in a moment of desperation, I asked my mum if I could drive dad to work (a mere 10 min drive from home), just so I could just …sigh, see the world, babyless. It felt sooooo good to just drive and hum along to the tunes on the radio.

I feel guilty when I think (blog) like this. I do feel awesomely blessed with twins, and I feel I shouldn’t complain. But I think I’d burst if I didn’t…complain that is.

I also feel terribly jealous of mum’s with 1 baby. I’m sure I’d be so much more rested with just 1 baby, especially with the twins deciding to tag team each other these days. One is asleep while the other is cranky and need my constant soothing. Once i get one soothed and asleep, the other one awakes and decides “Hey, the other twin got all that attention huh? Now it’s my turn….WAAAAAHHHH”. I bathe one, and realise I have another to bathe. I feed one, and hey, there’s another little mouth to feed. And the list goes on.

I’m also so jealous of the attention a mother of 1 baby can provide her baby. I always feel so stretched. With the twins doing tag-teaming, I do enjoy the time I have with 1 baby, playing and singing songs. But by the time the twin is asleep, and the other is awake. I find that I have less energy and just want to lie down and watch tv or something. Then I feel guilty that I don’t provide enough stimulation for the other twin. *sniff*

Or if i’m soothing 1 and the other cries, and my mom or our helper has to soothe the other twin. I then feel horribly sad that I’m not enough a mother for both my babies. So once I soothe the one, I’d always take the other to soothe. Which is good, cos they know I’m always there for them, but bad cos I end up being ridiculously exhausted, and never getting a baby break.

I really should stop complaining. Motherhood is difficult regardless of 1 baby or 2 babies. And then there are mothers with a toddler and a newborn. Who am I kidding? I probably got it easy, with my mom and the helper helping me with the laundry, etc.

I should count my blessings instead….i know. I just sometimes forget in the midst of it all. 

Coping with the twins

I’ve always thought that I’d be one of those strict parents that says no to swings, pacifiers and stuff that I think, although will help the baby stop crying for the meantime, in the long run will make life difficult for the parents. I’ve also always said that I’d choose the ‘let-cry’ method to ensure that my children don’t grow up bossing me around.

(I mean, if you know me, you’d know the only person I’d let boss me around is….errrr..NOONE! I AM the supreme Miss BOSSY!)

But with twins. I’ve thrown all my previous parenting beliefs out the window. All I believe now is – If it helps you cope for the now, JUST DO IT. You can figure tomorrow out, tomorrow! Especially when one crying means that the other one would wake up and start crying too. I mean, who needs two crying babies at one time, I’m frazzled enough as it is.

So, to cope with 2, we’ve been rocking them in their car-seats and I even rented swings so that we can swing them to sleep and keep them sleeping so that we can go about doing other things.

Maybe it is just luck on my side, they now don’t like being rocked to sleep in their car seat, or even sit in the swing for long. So the carseat is only used to keep them propped up, and carried along with me when I do household chores, and of course used in the car as it was intended. And the swing has been returned.

They nap sleeping on their tummies now and nap pretty well all on their own (their enjoying a nap right now!)

Phew!

Out one at a time…

After staying home for more than a month, afraid of venturing out of the home with the twins on my own (I mean come on? It’s really quite impossible to handle two newborn bubs on your own. Ok not impossible, but certainly very difficult). I was literally going crazy.  It occurred to me that I may not have the guts to venture out with 2 babies, but I certainly could handle one! So, I did. I took Upin the first time I went out and we headed to Paragon, which was a baby friendly place, and straight to Kinokuniya to get me some books!
Lil Upin sleeping among the shelves!
And I even ventured out to have tea at Marmalade Pantry with Ali and lil Ipin. 
Ipin with Aunt Ali fresh from his nap!
Its definitely not easy breezy out and about days, i do have to lug several things along (but which mommy doesn’t) and I always feel like I’ve left a piece of my heart back home. But until they get bigger, this is the only arrangement that will let me get out of the house without losing all of my hair from the stress of fussing over 2 babies all on my own! 
Mommy w Ipin

Haha….I just realised I dressed them in the exact same outfit for the outings! How terrible of me! It looks like I’ve only brought 1 twin out both times, instead of 1 twin per outing. LOL.

Out one at a time…

After staying home for more than a month, afraid of venturing out of the home with the twins on my own (I mean come on? It’s really quite impossible to handle two newborn bubs on your own. Ok not impossible, but certainly very difficult). I was literally going crazy.  It occurred to me that I may not have the guts to venture out with 2 babies, but I certainly could handle one! So, I did. I took Upin the first time I went out and we headed to Paragon, which was a baby friendly place, and straight to Kinokuniya to get me some books!
Lil Upin sleeping among the shelves!
And I even ventured out to have tea at Marmalade Pantry with Ali and lil Ipin. 
Ipin with Aunt Ali fresh from his nap!
Its definitely not easy breezy out and about days, i do have to lug several things along (but which mommy doesn’t) and I always feel like I’ve left a piece of my heart back home. But until they get bigger, this is the only arrangement that will let me get out of the house without losing all of my hair from the stress of fussing over 2 babies all on my own! 
Mommy w Ipin

Haha….I just realised I dressed them in the exact same outfit for the outings! How terrible of me! It looks like I’ve only brought 1 twin out both times, instead of 1 twin per outing. LOL.